Funerals are designed to give comfort to the family and to give them a sense of closure. Traditions at funerals vary from culture to culture. Have you ever noticed how much funeral traditions vary from one region of the United States to another? A funeral in Seattle will be different than a funeral in Dallas. Traditions even vary from one community to the next. Behind it all is an opportunity for families to end the death process formally and begin the long-term grief process. As a church leader, you have an important part in all of this.

When You Are Asked to Conduct the Funeral for the First Time

Conducting a funeral service for the first time can be intimidating. When you are asked to take part, there will likely be a relatively short time to prepare. You want to have the best presentation possible. A few practical suggestions are offered here.

When you are asked to conduct a funeral service for the first time, there are at least three groups of people you should talk to before you write your funeral sermon.

1. Talk to preachers in the area. They will know what is expected and may even have several sermon outlines that you can adapt or refer to in your preparation.

2. Talk to the funeral director. He or she will know the details of the funeral arrangements. Get as many details as you can. The funeral director will probably have the official obituary that will list pertinent information.

3. Visit the family before the funeral. Some key things to cover are:

• Favorite Scriptures
• Favorite songs
• Pleasant stories of the deceased
• Introductions to family members you do not already know
• Special circumstances (For example, there may be a family member reading a poem. There may be a club or organization participating in the service.)
• Funerals are for families. Try to minister to their needs.

The family may have a visitation period. When you go to this visitation, try to speak to all of the family members letting them know you and the congregation care for them. Likewise, at the funeral, when there is a time to talk to the family, try to speak to each of them. Let them know that you are there for them. At the family visitation or at the funeral be sure to, sign the guest book.

Traditions of sharing meals and visiting vary from region to region. If you do not know what is expected of the person who conducts the funeral for visitation after a funeral, ask a preacher, elders or longtime resident church members. But a rule of thumb for visiting is, when in doubt go visit.