Ministry in the Waiting Room

Of all the ministry that takes place in a hospital, perhaps the most meaningful is sitting with an anxious family in the waiting room. Families, in their time of crisis, need a spiritual anchor. You can be that anchor.

Prayer Before

Before a non-emergency surgery the patient and family may be in a room waiting for the preoperative preparations. The hospital information desk can direct you to the proper rooms or waiting areas.

If at all possible, visit before the surgery and have a prayer. Even if the nurses are already preparing the patient, try to see the patient and have a prayer. Many hospitals will allow you to go into areas normally off-limits to the public if you tell the staff that you are a preacher or an elder from the patient’s church. Because that prayer means so much to the patient and the family, it is worth the effort.

Often surgery is scheduled early in the morning and preoperative preparations begin very early. Sometimes it is hard to see the patient before the surgery, but it is always worth the effort. The prayer has a calming effect in the midst of the chaos that takes place the day of surgery.

In your prayer simply ask God to bless and calm the patient, bless the surgeons and medical staff and ask Him to watch over the family as they wait.

While Waiting

Waiting with a family while they have a loved one in surgery is different from any other type of hospital visitation. The most important rule in hospital visitation is brevity. This is the sole exception to that rule. To be the most effective in the waiting room, you should plan to stay for the duration of the surgery.

If you can stop by for only a few minutes, by all means, go. Ask the family for an update, share a prayer and let them know you will continue to pray for them throughout the day.

When you arrive, you may see others with the family whom you do not know. Introduce yourself to everyone. As others drop by while you are waiting, introduce yourself to the newcomers. During a health crisis, a family’s support network comes together. You will meet friends, coworkers, distant relatives and many other people. Usually the family will look to you as an elder, minister or church leader to represent their congregation to their other loved ones.

As you sit and visit, allow the conversation to go where the family leads. Some folks want to talk about the surgery while others want to make small talk to take their mind off the surgery. If there is a

lull in the conversation, do not feel compelled to fill the silence. Sometimes family members want time to reflect or pray quietly. Let the family determine the direction of the conversation.

Meals

At meal time, it is appropriate to suggest that the family go as a group to get a bite to eat. Often eating is not a need they feel or think about. Let them decide. Do not remind them that they have to “keep their strength up.” Very few people are going to lose their strength if they skip lunch the day of surgery.

If you leave the waiting area, tell the attendant in the waiting room where you will be. Many hospitals have volunteers or staff in the waiting room. They need to know where to find the family in case the doctor needs them. They can also pass on the information to other visitors.

As You Leave

It is important to close the visit successfully. If the surgery went well, stay until the physician talks to the family. There will be hugs and tears of relief. Ask the family if you can lead a prayer. Thank God for the success of the surgery and ask for continued healing. After the prayer, simply say that you are happy that the surgery went well. Tell the family you are going to leave—then leave. After good news on an emotional day, it is a good time to allow the family to be alone. Do not make them feel they need to stay with you.

If the surgery did not go well, listen to the physician carefully. The family may be so overwhelmed that they do not fully understand what the doctor is telling them. After the physician leaves, remain flexible. Lead a prayer for loved ones assembled in the waiting room. If the family has specific needs, especially physical needs, try to help them. They may need to pick up a child from school or get a change of clothing from home. Offer to help them make necessary telephone calls. Try to remove any additional stress.

People occasionally die during surgery. If this happens, you are in a position to minister to this family in their grief.

Whatever the outcome, inform the church office as soon as you can. Other church members will contact the church office for updates.

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This article is from Shepherding: Ten Ways to Be a More Effective Elder