Cold Churches

Visiting a church for the first time is one of the most intimidating experiences most people have. People usually visit a church for the first time during a period of stress in their lives. They have recently moved into an area, they are dissatisfied with their previous congregation or they are seeking a closer relationship with God.

Often a personal change will precipitate this spiritual quest. A new child, a change in health, or the loss of a loved one may cause people to examine their spiritual lives. People typically will come to your congregation in a period of stress or transition.

Some transitions will be as joyful as the birth of a child or a step up in career. Some transitions will be as painful as the loss of a spouse. During this time of stress, they may seek God and relationships with spiritual people.

People come to you in a period of stress or transition

Now imagine yourself as a first time visitor. Church buildings are often intimidating. Even though it is not a Biblical concept, some people have the feeling that church buildings are somewhat sacred. They often secretly, even unconsciously, feel that if they do or say the wrong thing they will somehow desecrate this "Holy Place."

Of course, we know that is not what the Bible teaches, but that does not calm the fears of our visitors. Imagine yourself as a visitor struggling with these feelings of intimidation but wanting to worship God and have fellowship with God's people. Would you feel comfortable visiting most congregations?

For those in the body of Christ who are accustomed to attending worship services, these things never come up. We think our churches are warm and friendly because we enjoy being there. However, many people find their first visit to a congregation cold.

On Their Terms

Sometimes when visitors walk into a church building, it becomes obvious that if they want to be a part of the Bible classes and worship, it will be on the church's terms. No congregation would ever post a sign that reads, "No Visitors Allowed" but unknowingly they may communicate the sentiment.

Members know the dress code. Of course, in churches of Christ all people who seek Jesus are welcome. Our preachers never wear any ecclesiastical vestments. We just do not have a dress code-or do we?

No Visitors Allowed!

Once I was in an evangelistic Bible study with a man who had very strong negative feelings about our fellowship. His father died when he was a senior in high school. As might be expected, his whole family was in turmoil. Most of them became bitter. He decided to seek God. He knew nothing about any church, but he lived near a Church of Christ.

He visited that congregation on a Sunday morning wearing what he always wore everywhere, blue jeans and a tee-shirt. Nervously he made his way up the steps to the big brick building.

He was met at the door by a man who mistook him for one of the young men in the youth group. The member's first words to him were, "Son, don't you think you ought to dress a little better than that on a Sunday morning? After all, the Bible says we are to give our best to God."

In tears the boy left. It was fifteen years before he recovered enough to begin again.

Is that an extreme example? Sure it is, but it happened.

Unfortunately, similar things happen on a much smaller scale every Sunday in cold churches. Cold churches are intimidating.

You Are on Your Own

Have you ever been traveling and stopped to worship with a congregation with which you were not familiar? It can be confusing. Starting times of classes and worship services are usually posted or listed in an advertisement somewhere, but simply finding your way around the building can be difficult.

Find Your Own Way Around

Most church buildings are built in stages. Many have had one or more additions so that hallways twist and turn. Even though church buildings sometimes look like a maze, very few have adequate signs posted.

Something as necessary as finding a rest room can be difficult for the first time visitor. Finding which adult class to attend is very hard. Why do you think most visitors go to the auditorium class? There may be factors such as anonymity or a less threatening format, but one reason is that people can find the auditorium. Visitors with children may as well forget about getting to their own class on time.

Make Your Own Acquaintances

A cold church expects you to make your own acquaintances. Some may say they could not possibly be a cold church because people regularly stand around and visit before and after worship services. The lobby or foyer is usually filled with laughter and conversation. Hugs, greetings and smiles flow freely.

Can that kind of congregation still be a cold church? It can be the coldest kind.

Fellowship is wonderful if you are included. However, seeing others enjoying fellowship and being left out is worse than an absence of fellowship. It hurts to be alone in a crowd. Cold churches often expect visitors to take the first step. Most church members are sweet and kind once they meet a visitor, but how many are good at seeking them out? When you visit other congregations, how big a difference does it make if you meet several friendly people before Bible class? If after the worship service, you find someone who knows your Uncle Ralph who was once a deacon at the Cedar Point Church of Christ, how do you feel? A bond is created.

Many congregations think they are warm and friendly. They think everyone is welcome and happy. In reality, they are cold churches from a visitor's perspective.

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This article is from Greeters Ministry